Tyred, and a bit smashed.

This month has seen some unexpected expenditure on both aluminium cars. The reasons and scale of this have varied greatly.
In the case of the Land Rover, someone and I know not who, decided to show their appreciation of traditional British automobilia by smashing the rear window and redesigning one of the tyres using a screwdriver. But it wasn’t all bad, although it was all mightily bewildering and leads me to believe the perpetrator of the act has no appreciation of aluminium cars. First there is the blatant vandalism which I suppose is just a fact of life in modern “Ing-errrrr-lund!”, but more curiously, the hoodlum who shattered the glass left everything in the Land Rover, which included a lightweight trolley jack. Leaving this behind says to me that whoever had a go at the Defender has no need of a trolley jack and doesn’t appreciate its potential value. If only it had been an iPod.
Now, losing a tyre isn’t usually too traumatic, but in the case of the Land Rover the timing couldn’t have been more critical. Of the five tyres (including the spare) on the car, three were due imminent replacement anyway, and with the act of a wanton yoof and his Stanley knife, this then meant there was only one good tyre left on the car. Annoying, but it forced me to accept the inevitable and re-shod the Landy. And it’s obviously been a while. BF Goodrich have virtually doubled their prices since I last purchased one. General Tire (as the Colonials call them), evidently, have not so time to switch brands.
After a little confusion over model years and disclosure that a 4pm appointment actually begins at 5:30pm, Autoglass replaced the rear window, and luckily for me they only stock glass with heater elements so it may be time to re-fit the heated rear window facility, dormant since the new door was fitted.
In view of the unprovoked and inconvenient attack on the Land Rover, I reviewed the concept of storing and carrying the spare wheel on the outside of the rear door. It doesn’t actually need to be there. It’s open to damage (deliberate or not), obstructs the rear view, and adds weight to the door hinges. So, as something of a trial, I’ve removed the wheel from the carrying bracket, and stored it inside the wagon then, using my air impact wrench in anger for the first time, removed the carrying bracket from the door. All in all, a good thing I reckon.
After all this I gave the Land Rover its first real clean since Christmas and its assorted outings of the Festive period. In something of a Johnny Morris moment I used a broom to actually wash the car. This reminded me of the 70s children’s TV uncle scrubbing the elephants at London Zoo whilst giving them the voice-over persona of Noel Coward. (Or Margot from The Good Life in the case of lady elephants)
So, with the Land Rover fully repaired I felt it only fair to lavish some times and money on the Seven. So at approximately 1/100th of the cost of the Land Rover’s new tyres, I acquired the switch I’ve been searching for in order to connect the heated windscreen I got for a similarly knock-down price earlier in the month, with both items being sourced through Blat Chat as always.

New Year's Freeze.

Well it's been a couple of busy weeks in areas other than aluminium cars, so a less than inpiring update.

After some intense Caterham usage, the temperature plummeted and the Land Rover came to the fore again with its traction control and ABS to overcome the sheet ice formerly known as the UK.

After Christmas Day, which this year fell on December 25th, I added the roof tent to the Defender ready for the LRUK Christmas Treasure Hunt, an event which can be traced back maybe ten or maybe even twelve months.

The treasure hunt was a great success, with seventeen surprisingly complete vehicles turning up to scatter to the four corners of Salisbury Plain. No one's car broke down, no one got stuck. Bit of a let down really but by the time we'd all defrosted the event raised a hundred quid, split between the LRUK website and Help For Heroes.

Sub-zero temperatures are actually pretty good for green laning - all the moisture is frozen out of the ground making everything more solid to drive on. It does compromise the socialising somewhat, although Land Rover drivers are, by definition, hardy souls many of whom are used to living life with permafrost in their cars so sitting around at -5 chipping beer out of a tin was child's play.

With the Defender already packed for overnighting the next night out was New Year's Eve - in Scotland. Obviously this involved a little trip North but with brilliant if chilly sunshine the scene was set for a bit of a roadtrip.

Long distance journeys in a Land Rover are more than just a journey from A to B. Rumbling along at a comfortable 60mph gives the chance to take in the view, relax a little and really travel instead of just drive.

Stopping off for a bit of a break at one of the many motorway services, clearly aimed to relieve drivers of stress and Sterling, I got the chance to discover what may be the real cause of car related climate change.

The basins in the "rest rooms" had hands-free taps. Yep, just place your hands under the tap, a sensor detects one's digits and the water flows. Ditto for drying them, with hot water replaced by hot air. And this is the problem. Whilst tree huggers around the world berate the car, they don't stop to think about all the other crap that soft-headed marketing executives firmly believe should go with owning one. The automated basins require one crucial ingredient - electricity. And that doesn't come without leaving a trail of the carbon footprints that we're all told are stamping the icecaps to pieces. So whilst society struggles to find a viable alternative to the car, its already wasting the energy allegedly freed up by banning them, and worse than that, it's wasting it on something that for centuries has been done perfectly adequately without the need for electrical input. But then again, anyone who thinks water and electricity should be mixed is clearly insane from the start.

Land Rovers don't have any fancy electric bits where they don't need them.

Pressing on through the frozen wastes of the North, one place name stuck in my mind - Ecclefechan, simply because this struck me as a suitable expletive to describe the arctic weather.

My target for the night was Wanlockhead, the UK's highest village and thus a suitable memorable location for New Year's Eve.

But this too was a bit of let-down. Although it was good to meet up with long term fellow road adventurer Wes, the inn itself was about as welcoming as a sign saying "Go away". In return, once parked up in the pub car park, I did experiment with various ways of off-setting the nocturnal after effects of several pints of Guinness without leaving the comfort of the rooftent.

New Year's Day was refreshingly clear but still cold. For the journey home I took a detour over Shap Pass, stopping at the top to take in the view of white frosted electricity pylons. Also noted was the memorial at the top of the pass with an inscription remembering the shelter afforded by local people to lost travellers in the days before the pesky M6 opened.

Arriving home well after dark the Defender was in dire need of a good wash. A day on Salisbury Plain had left it smothered in mud, then two days to Scotland and back had coated it all in salt, but in true Land Rover style it looked no less capable or indeed appealing due to its heavy weathering.

Washing had to wait anyway. Frozen hose pipes have limited uses.